A Polar Bear on Tour

The friendly people at the zoo, they came to set me free
To take my back to my frozen home ashore the Arctic sea
I was shipped into a chopper in a box tagged “Bear”
With a yummy can of fish and a soft rug for my lair

I fell into a sweet slumber dreaming of my home up north
When the chopper landed with a thud and I was pushed forth
I looked around in glee but couldn’t find a speck of water
Those imbeciles had dropped me in the midst of the Sahara!

I grunted and snorted and threw an angry polar tantrum
Sweating and smelly I sat on the prickly sand, looking ever so glum
Oh! How I missed the Arctic ice – here I saw only dry sand
I could see no fish or lichens; it sure wasn’t the place for a gourmand

A group of haughty camels then passed me by (My! What arrogance!)
“This one needs a bit of a tan”, said one to his snobbish friends
And so I saw I had no choice but to grow a hump or two
And get a tan too ‘coz in Rome you do as Romans do

It took some time but I grew myself a dainty little hump!
But try as I might, the fur is still white and I’m still a little plump
The camels, my friends, they say to me –“You’re not one of us!”
And I ask myself, what did I get from all the sandy fuss?

I’m neither a camel now, nor a polar bear anymore
I’m stuck in between and don’t know which way to go
I’m a vegetarian with an eye for pretty camelines (like a regular bloke!)
I wanted to be a dromedary but now I’m a Saharan joke